The Casual Rule Read online

  “I’m not,” I insist, placing my glass down hard on the counter with a louder bang than I intended. “I appreciate your concern, but I swear… the last thing I want is a romantic relationship. I like the way things are. I was just wondering, that’s all. Don’t read any more into my question. I was just curious. I need a better understanding of the rules of no rules. Okay?”

  “Okay. Good.” She lets out a long breath. “So are you going to call him for some horizontal time?”

  “He’s pretty good vertically too,” I gush. A flush creeps across my face. I can’t believe I just said that.

  Her hand flies over her mouth and she snickers. “Why Julia Conti, you saucy little vixen. I think we better start stocking up on some cranberry juice.”

  “For what?” I frown.

  “With all the action you’re looking to get, we need to take a preemptive UTI strike.”

  I laugh. “Thanks for looking out for my health.”

  “That’s me. Dr. Allison Lewis, Crotchologist, at your service.” She laughs as she salutes.

  ~o0o~

  I can do this. When that bitch Cam-eel pissed me off, I sent Ben a text looking for a good time. Then again, I was angry, and apparently spiteful, so a lot less thought went into my texting. I really want to see him again tonight. Ben is addicting. He does things to me. Good things. Naughty things. Wildly naughty things. He makes me swoon, actually swoon. He makes my toes curl until my nails feel like they may break skin. I’d be crazy not to be addicted to that.

  Screw it, I’m a modern woman, and there’s nothing wrong with wanting sex. Ben certainly didn’t mind when I made the first move last night. Isn’t that the point to our whole arrangement anyway? When you want it, you tell the other person. There’s no drama or nonsense. My doubts are complicating something that was meant to be uncomplicated. That’s the appeal of our arrangement… it’s straightforward and easy.

  There’s no room for feelings. It’s just lust and sex. And I’m pretty damn comfortable with that combination. I like sex with Ben. Simple.

  I pull out my cell phone, hold my breath and go for it.

  *Hi. Are you busy tonight?*

  I tap my fingers on my knee nervously watching the minutes tick by on my cell phone’s clock. Where is he? Is he thinking up an excuse to politely ditch me? I need to stop allowing my imagination to get the better of me. He’ll answer. After the longest fifteen minutes of my life, my cell phone finally pings.

  *Parents back in town tonight. Rehab visit & late dinner after with them.*

  I believe him. I know his parents were out of town and his grandmother is in rehab with her fractured hip. His answer is certainly plausible. Damn. I was looking forward to getting some. Like Allie said, I can’t assume that it’s always going to happen. Well, this sucks.

  Just as I’m trying to remember if I have fresh batteries for some one on one time with BOB tonight, my cell phone pings again with another text from Ben.

  *This afternoon?*

  My body instantly tingles. How the hell can he have such power over me with a two word text? I don’t want to look as desperate as I know I am. I wait three long minutes to text him back.

  *Your place? 2:00?*

  I know Allie is around. And the way I’m feeling, things may get a little noisy.

  *See you then.*

  Afternoon sex… It’s been a long time.

  Come to think of it, I don’t remember the last time I had sex in the daylight. I can’t count the quickies in Mikehole’s dorm room when his roommate was in class. You could hardly call that sex anyway. There was nothing sexy about it… and it was always about him. Selfish bastard. It was like a quick prodding with a cocktail wiener; you barely taste the meat, leaving you feeling unsatisfied and hungry for more. All bump and grind, never any passion. By the time I realized he was in me, he was finished. At least he’s someone else’s problem now. I’m sure he’s leaving a bevy of sexually frustrated whores all along the Tri-State area. The asshole.

  Oh God, I just realized something. Ben’s going to clearly see my orgasm face. Crap, this is bad. I’ve caught a glimpse of my ‘O’ face when BOB and I had a stolen moment near a mirror. It’s not a good look for me. Sex in the dark hides a lot of the embarrassing crap, like wearing a blindfold… Or at least having really blurry vision.

  Hopefully, the curtains will be drawn.

  It’s been my theory that afternoon sex is not nearly as dirty as nighttime sex. Something about sex at night with only the soft glow from the moonlight or a dimly lit lamp makes you feel less inhibited… raunchier, sluttier.

  I think Ben is about to prove that theory wrong.

  ~o0o~

  “Hi, come on in.” Ben opens his apartment door wide, extending out his arm.

  “Hi” I answer shyly. I’m giddy on the inside like a silly school girl, but I keep up my mask.

  “Let me take your coat.” I immediately tense at his touch, briefly closing my eyes, my heart racing as he slides my coat off my shoulders. “Have you had lunch?”

  I nod. I don’t know when my voice box left me.

  “Can I get you a drink? Water, wine, anything?” he asks.

  I shake my head. “No, I’m… I’m fine. Thanks,” I stutter, knotting my fingers behind my back. I look around his apartment. It’s funny how the same room can look so different depending on the time of day. The curtains on the windows in his living room are wide open, the sun blazing in. Sheesh, it’s blindingly bright in here. It’s still a beautiful room, just missing some of the cozy feeling you experience at nighttime. I look down at his coffee table. The fact that I still don’t see one speck of dust amazes me. There are no coffee or red wine stains on his area rug. Everything is in its place and pristine. How can anyone be this clean and orderly? It’s not normal. I inhale deeply; it smells so good in here…A mix of clean apartment and Ben.

  “Your place looks different in the daytime,” My neck twists slightly as I continue to survey his apartment.

  “Different, how?”

  “I don’t know how to describe it, just … different.” I shrug, my stomach doing flips again.

  “Okay. Different.”

  Why am I so anxious? It’s not like this is the first time we’ve had sex.

  “Are you okay? You seem a little nervous,” he asks.

  “I’m fine. It’s a little weird seeing you socially in the daytime, I guess.”

  “I’m not a vampire, Julia. I am awake during daylight hours.”

  I glare at him, pursing my lips. “I am well aware of that,” I turn my nose up at him, expressing my mock displeasure in his teasing.

  He smiles and shakes his head.

  “So, what time are you meeting up with your parents?” I ask.

  “Six… on the dot. Late is not a word my mother understands.”

  Oh, she’s one of those.

  “Where have they been?”

  “Cruising on the Mediterranean.”

  “Oh, like on a cruise ship, cruising?” God, what a stupid question. Duh, no Julia, they were cruising on a rocket ship.

  “No, their friend owns a yacht.” Of course they do. “They were going to cut their trip short when my grandmother fell, but I assured them I had everything under control and to enjoy the rest of their vacation.”

  “That’s nice of you. I’d go into panic mode and beg my parents to come home.”

  “I think you’re exceptionally capable of managing adversity. You managed me pretty well the first time we met at Emilio’s.”

  “Well, you were an ass. Somebody had to knock you down a few pegs,” I tease.

  “That you did.” He laughs. “And look where we are now.”

  “Yeah, who would’ve thunk it?”

  “I’m glad you’re here,” he says sincerely. He wraps his arms around my waist, pulling me close, pressing his lips against my forehead.

  “So am I.” I look up at him and smile, wrapping my arms up around his neck.

  “Even when we argued that
night, I have to admit, I was getting turned on. I wanted to lay you across that table and have you for dessert.” He grins wickedly.

  “The more I hated you, the more I wanted you,” I admit, laughing.

  “Well, you have me now,” he says.

  “That I do.” For as long as this lasts anyway.

  “Would you be interested in having me… right now?” His brow arches.

  “I would.” I tilt my head to the side and smile then slowly skim my hand down his back and squeeze his exceptionally fine ass.

  His hand reaches over to my hair and he threads his fingers through it. “You have such soft hair.” He glides his finger down my cheek. I close my eyes and savor his gentle touch. I love when he touches me like this.

  He steps closer, nuzzling my neck with feather-light kisses. It’s heavenly. Without saying a word, he takes my hand and leads me toward his bedroom.

  We’re about four feet away from his bedroom door when he gently pushes me up against the hallway wall and kisses me. Hard. Passionately. His tongue in my mouth, my hands twist in his hair. This kiss is perfect. What ravenous yearning it brings. He breaks away and gazes down at me. “I can’t wait to be inside you. You always feel so damn good,” he whispers in my ear, his stubble rubbing against my cheek. I whimper at his words as my knees begin to buckle. Inhaling his Benessence, my body melts into his. “Come. Let’s get you naked.”

  Shyness overcomes me as we enter his bedroom. It makes no sense. We’ve had sex before. We’ve seen each other naked, touched each other, tasted each other. I shouldn’t feel this way.

  I glance around his room. It looks the same as the last time we were here playing professor and co-ed. Soft beige walls, king size bed with a black leather headboard, and a matching chair to the side. Sky blue comforter with a few fluffy pillows neatly piled at the top of the bed. Two cherry wood nightstands on either side of the bed with matching table lamps and wall to ceiling curtains. His dresser has a huge mirror that reflects his backside perfectly. Why does this feel so new to me?

  I know exactly what it is. The curtains are wide open, and the damn sun is shining in the room. It’s so fucking bright in here. Obscenely bright, like there’s a giant spotlight on me. I was hoping once I saw Ben, I’d get over my afternoon sex-phobia, but instead, I think I’m developing a case of sex-fright.

  “Hey, what’s wrong? You look uncomfortable,” Ben asks, obviously sensing my nervousness.

  “Nothing. I’m just being silly.”

  “What is it? Tell me.”

  I pause to gather my thoughts. My eyes dart over toward the window where the sun is brightly shining into the room.

  “The open curtains bother you? No one can see in, Julia. We’re twenty stories up.”

  “It’s not that.” I sigh. “Daylight. It feels weird to have sex in broad daylight.”

  “We’re alone in my bedroom, not in the middle of Central Park.”

  “I know.”

  “Then why is it weird? This isn’t exactly our first time. I hope the sex we’ve already had was memorable. I’ve already seen you naked. From several different angles… all exquisite angles, by the way.”

  “It feels strange with the sun shining in. Oh, I’m being stupid.” I look down to the floor, shuffling my feet.

  He tilts my chin up to meet his gaze. “If it bothers you, it’s not stupid.”

  “I don’t know. I feel so exposed. More naked,” I explain. Even I know the words sound absurd coming out of my mouth.

  “More naked? How can you feel more naked than naked?” he snorts a laugh.

  “Don’t laugh at me.” I pout.

  “I’m not laughing. Okay. I am, a little. But you have to admit, it’s a little bit funny. It’s not like we’ve fooled around blindly in the dark and felt around for each other. We have seen each other without our clothes on. You’ve undressed in front of me before. It was quite a show.”

  “Yes, but it was different.” This is so damn frustrating to explain.

  “What was different?” He frowns.

  “The degree of light is infinitely magnified now. Even with the lights on, it wasn’t as stark as it is now. I feel like I’m on display.”

  “I like you on display.” He rubs his index finger under his chin, arching his brow. “You don’t want me to look at you?”

  Here’s where I’m confused. I think back to our first time together; I made sure I faced him so he could get a good long look. I loved how sexy it made me feel. I do want him to look at me.

  “I like when you look at me,” I say softly.

  “Good, because I sure as hell love to look. I could look at you naked all day. Someday I’d like to do just that,” he mutters with a sinful grin.

  “You want to stare at my naked body all day?”

  “Absolutely. You have an incredible body.”

  I sigh at the ridiculousness of this conversation. I’m embarrassed to let Ben see something he’s already seen. My anxiety is completely illogical. “It’s just daylight sex that’s throwing me off. Welcome to my crazy.”

  “You’ve never had sex in the daylight?” he asks.

  “Nothing worth remembering. I know I’m insane.”

  “You are not insane. Tell you what…we can close the curtains and make it darker in here, or we can do this together and you’ll get over your trepidation. Whatever makes you more comfortable. I want you horny, not self-conscious.”

  At this moment, I realize something. I feel safe with Ben. I trust him. I don’t need to hide in the shadows. He makes me feel sexy, sexier than I have ever felt before. I want to embrace it. Live in the present. Be brave.

  “Leave them open,” I say softly, my tongue peeking out of my mouth, licking the top of my lip. Despite my nerves, I have no doubt that I want him, and I want to do this.

  He licks his lips as a sexy grin spreads across his face. “Let’s start with our shirts. Face me. I want to see you.”

  I watch as Ben unbuttons his shirt, one by one, painfully slow, building the anticipation. There’s no doubt I want him. I want every inch, every tiny molecule of him. I fight the urge to reach over and help him as he slowly slides his shirt off, casually dropping it on the floor. I follow his lead; slowly pulling my T-shirt over my head and dropping it at my feet.

  His eyes are filled with lust and fixed on my pale pink lace bra. Men and their fascination with breasts. Unreal.

  Hopping on one leg at a time, he takes off his shoes and socks, dropping them on the floor. As gracefully as I can, I slip off my sneakers and socks and kick them off to the side of the bed.

  He unbuttons his jeans and takes them off. I look at his muscular runner’s calves. He has nicer legs than me. It’s not fair. I could take up running and get those calves, but then I’d have to actually run. That’s not happening. I wiggle out of my jeans; careful not to trip myself while pulling each pant leg over my feet and dropping them unceremoniously wherever they fall.

  We’re standing in front of each other, in the bright light wearing only our underwear.

  “Is this okay?” he asks softly.

  “I’m good.” I smile. I love his concern; he really does want me comfortable.

  He pulls his V-neck undershirt off and drops it on the floor. My gaze travels down his muscular chest all the way to his V-line. I’ve seen what’s waiting for me at the end of that sexy pathway and dammit I want it. I long to touch the small patch of hair on his chest. I want to nuzzle in the warmth of his skin. The rock hard muscles of his biceps, his flat stomach… he’s just so… incredibly male.

  Time for me to take off my bra. I briefly peek up at the window and squint. Why is the sun so freaking bright? I swear the sun rays are aimed right on my breasts, front and center. It’s the universe’s cruel joke. Mother Nature, I hope you’re having fun amusing yourself at my expense…you’re a little bitch.

  I hesitate for a moment. I’m so damn foolish. The guy directed me to strip for him the first time we had sex and now I’m too shy to show h
im my boobs? I really am crazy. Now's probably not the time to disclose the fact that I won’t sleep naked because I have an irrational fear of fire in the middle of the night and don't want to run out of my apartment in the nude. I can’t let all the crazy out at once.

  Ben cocks his head to the side, sensing my reluctance. “Tell you what… Take off your bra, and I’ll buy you a cupcake,” he eggs me on.

  “Are you seriously bribing me to take off my bra with a cupcake?”

  “I am.” He nods with a devious smile.

  I shake my head disapprovingly. “You have no morals, Mr. Martin.”

  “I know. Take it off.”

  “I have a pair of breasts,” I point out.

  “Negotiating, huh? Fine. Two cupcakes. Unhook it.”

  I chuckle softly and unhook my bra, rolling the straps slowly down my arms and drop it. Although I’ve stripped for him before, this feels different. Maybe because there’s no dimly lit room, or shadows hiding anything. It’s just us.

  Ben’s eyes are ogling my breasts. “My eyes are up here,” I playfully remind him.

  “I know exactly where your beautiful green eyes are, but those are staring at me. They were calling to me.”

  I look down at my breasts. My nipples are standing at attention, pointing right at him. Traitorous tits.

  “Ready?” he asks.

  I nod. He pulls off his boxer briefs. His erection springs free. My eyes follow his V-line as I imagine running my fingernails through the lushness of his happy trail until I reach the prize at the end… steely, stiff, and longing for my touch. My hand instinctively rises to stroke it, but I catch myself and resist. Nice to know he’s happy to see me, it makes me want him more. Damn, he has some amazing body. Now I get what he means, I could stare at his naked body all day.